Listen to them, offer them support and be a sounding board. And most importantly, don't judge them. Let them know that you love and support them, and that they can come to you for anything. I've learned that it's best to have a positive conversation until the abused friend or family member speaks openly about their situation. Once they do, I can begin to calmly express my concern.
Your goal is to make them feel that you are a safe place for them to vent. Making them worry, argue, or offer “I told you so” statements will backfire on you. You should focus your efforts on listening and asking questions that allow your friend to come to their own conclusions. Let your friend talk and let them know that you are there for them, both now and in the future, regardless of their decisions.
Don't pressure them to leave the relationship. Being aggressive about your friend leaving their partner and giving ultimatums could push your friend away and may feel like they can't talk to you. Let the conversations flow and be a good listener. Some people in toxic relationships start to realize that they are, but they take the time to process it and weigh the various factors.
Constantly tell your friend things that will improve their self-image, giving them the strength they may need to leave their partner. Challenge what your partner has said about them, if you have called them stupid or weak tell them that they are not. This works much better for everyone involved if you avoid framing the situation in a negative way. If your friend is processing the problem but hasn't done anything about it yet, listen to him and don't judge him, especially if he trusts you enough to fill you up and talk to you about it.
Instead, allow him to talk, vent, say whatever he wants to say and ask questions to learn more about the situation and be able to help. The last thing you want to do is control them and tell them to do anything, no matter how good your intentions are. Also, be careful when criticizing your partner, as you may not be ready to hear that. Not only can this make your friend realize that something they thought was normal in their relationship isn't, but they'll also know that you're not judging them for staying in a toxic relationship if they've started to notice it on their own.
